As I close out the year and reflect on all I have experienced in 2017, I have to admit, this has been one of the toughest years I’ve had. Not just when it comes to dating but in general. I had to re-brand my blogging career yet again, experience some of the people closest to me clearly show me they don’t give a fuck about me and watch my youngest child suffer from a severely broken leg for 4 months (and still recovering).
But through it all there has been some rays of sunshine that I am completely grateful for, like, my oldest daughter graduate high school and go off to college, I’ve watched my son play some amazing football and ultimately gain personal peace with the good as well as the bad that was going on in my life because my faith won’t let me do anything else.
Furthermore, I can appreciate the fact that through it all, I learned a lot about myself and what I want in a relationship. Not just in sexual relationships but all relationships. From the manager in my complex to the friend I’ve known since middle school. All of those relationships deserve respect and nurturing. Even my sexual relationship this year showed me that at best he deserved the respect and honesty of knowing he was not the one for me.
Allow me to respectfully explain and give some advice to the men and women when it comes to settling. I don’t mean that in a way that the person is not shit, I mean it in the way of putting your wants and needs on the back burner just to say you have someone in your life.
When you come to the conclusion in the beginning of meeting someone that you don’t like them. Please follow your first mind. Don’t waste their time and yours trying to give the benefit of the doubt or convincing yourself that you are being “too picky”. When you like what you like there is not a thing a person your not interested in can do to change that. If they’re too short, too fat, too old or too small “in the pants”, and that’s not your thing, be real with yourself. Cut it short. I am a woman and I know how to own up to my wrongdoing. And prolonging a situation with hopes that it will convince you that maybe “I will like them one day” will do nothing but make you feel like shit. It’s crazy how being lonely will take over you even when you know your not suppose to let loneliness guide you during your singlehood.
I want you all to know being single is not a curse. It is a time to reflect on where past relationships went wrong when healing should take place as well as enhancing your ability to be a better person for your future partner.
It’s not a time where you use other people to help you get over your ex, or thrust yourself into another relationship hoping to use it to cover up your failed past relationship. That will never work.
It’s simply a time to take care of YOU. So do the work and watch your life flourish, in many ways.
Many Blessings and Happy New Year!
with Aja Alia
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