One thing is for certain, I want to be in love. In a loving, non-perfect, relationship with a man who loves me beyond measure. But the question is, am I mentally and emotionally prepared for it?
I’ve never been one to have a hard time gathering prospects for the title of “Bae”. Reality is, was Bae willing and able to commit. NOPE! Because he wasn’t THE ONE? The one that God uniquely created just for me to spend the rest of my life with. Not likely. Until very recently, they have just been another Fuck Boy to spew out lies and broken promises just to get what they wanted……sex. Whew, that sounded bitter huh? LOL! I digress.
My question to you is, what do I do when I no longer become bamboozled by fuck boys? What do I do when the man of my dreams comes along? And what if I’m not ready for him. Will he wait for me? I sure hope he has the patience of 10 men. LOL!
I’ve spent many dreams observing the tall, dark, clean-cut, handsome man that is mine and I wonder, will I fuck it all up when he reveals who he is in person. Will I sabotage our love out of fear of being hurt? I sure hope not. What I do hope is that I am mentally and emotionally healed from all the past hurt. So he is welcomed with open arms.
Furthermore, when thinking about my future husband, I get this sense of urgency in my heart. Like I want us to meet NOW. BUT truth is…I don’t think I’m ready for him. Don’t get me wrong, I am working diligently to make sure my mind, heart, and soul is constantly being fueled so I can evolve into the woman I am meant to be for him. However, I can’t say I’m fully prepared at this point. I still have so much to work on, so much to finish getting over so that my heart can be ready to receive who God made for me.
Am I afraid? Hell yea I am. But that is why it is so important for us to make sure the person we are dating is from God and not loneliness. We get so impatient with love and take matters into our own hands. And to be blunt, we go fucking things up allowing emotion to pick who we feel is “good enough” for us. Most of the time discounting our love as if it’s last seasons fashion trend.
Nah, not me. Not only do I want what’s mine, I want it ordained by God. Not me or man. So with that said, I will continue to work toward being the best woman I can be, while my future husband awaits seeing me and falling deeply in love, at first sight.
Aja Alia via
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