Most of the time women are always diagnosed by men for having Daddy Issues. But no one seems to ever talk about the men who have Mother Issues. Being a woman who seems to attract men that have mother issues, it has made me realize this complex is alive and well in both men and women.
For the life of me I can’t seem to grasp why I have been placed in the same space of so many guys who suffer from mother issues. Either they felt like their mother didn’t love them equally as appose to their siblings, or they lost their mother due to violence from their father or they had a mother who suffered from addiction leaving grandparents to raise them. Let me be clear all of those situations are tragic situations and can affect anyone negatively, but I’d like to focus on how it effects men AND hinders their relationship building with women (if left untreated). Which brings me back to my question, why do these types of guys gravitate to me so much? Could it be the geographic region in which I meet them? Or is it solely my personality? These are the only options I could come up with based on my experience. We will talk about those options later. (Click here to be updated on those topics)
Let’s start with how having mother issues hinder men from having successful relationships. I have noticed most men that have mother issues tend to be very needy and want a woman to excessively prove to them that they like/love them or won’t leave them. (When abandonment issues are present). Which can be a very difficult job to place on a woman, especially early on in dating. For example, just imagine someone taking 80% of the blood out of your body. Do you think you can successfully live? No. So if a woman depletes all of her love and attention to the person she is dating, she won’t have any left to love herself, family or children (if applicable). That’s difficult! This is why I have stressed before, why it is so important to identify and resolve childhood issues before entering a relationship. Otherwise you will subconsciously depend on your partner to fill a void that they may not even realize exists. Being whole. Fellas, please don’t kill a relationship with a possible soulmate before it even starts. Identify the problem and solve it. Your happiness depends on it.
Ultimately I feel like men are affected by having mother issues severely. They tend to have trust issues, look down on women and honestly I feel like they become very narcissistic. It seems like they feel if they can control the woman they can make her fill that void the mother created. Just a thought. (shrugs) Sidenote: is it me or do most men with mother issues tend to reproducing little girls? And showing their behaviors from having mother issues to their daughters. Can you say another type of daddy issue women suffer from. But….. (I digress).
Being a mother I failed to notice the traits of a guy with mother issues. Naturally when I was first faced with some of their traits my first call to action was to nurture, understand and give the benefit of the doubt. I failed to protect myself from the negative treatment and taking heed to their upbringing. Which could have saved me alot of time, heartache and bone definition (we will talk later about this too). However, I would still do those same things with a man , BUT to one who is healed or never suffered from mother issues in the first place.
This read is not to be misconstrued to come down on men who have mother issues. I get it, shit I have had Daddy issues (and still suffer from them from time to time). But I diligently work on my issues while I am single so I don’t sabotage any relationship that may come my way in the future. This post is to strictly inform women that men have mother issues and to encourage them to open their eyes to some of the harsh realities of dating a man that indeed has mother issues. People have a choice as to whether or not they want to deal with certain things in life. But sometimes we aren’t very knowledgeable as to what we are dealing with, especially when we are in love. I wish someone could have told me to take heed to how a man was raised, what he was subjected to while he was growing up and most importantly how he treats his mother. In my opinion, if a man doesn’t give a shit about his mother, he won’t give a shit about you. Simple.
Ladies, want to know if a man has mother issues? Just simply ask him. Are your parents still together? That should start a wonderful conversation to help you understand his background.
Until next time loves…..